Love. What is it, precisely? I ask because, despite being
the language of Shakespeare, English offers only one rather generalised word for
‘love’, yet this wonderful emotion has many variations.
The term love is bandied about far too freely these days.
For example, you might say, “I love you”
to the man or woman of your dreams and five minutes later say “I’d love a cup
of tea”, as though your feelings for a humble beverage were really on a par with
those for the love of your life.
Greeks have no such problem. When it comes to vocabulary they’re second to none,
rarely having just one word to describe something when a couple of hundred will
do! Whereas the English, when not
actually grunting, tend to stick to our familiar catch-all, four-lettered word,
our Hellenic cousins have a wealth of descriptions for different types of
love. Well, it stands to reason – if
love is a ‘many splendoured thing’* then surely it deserves at least as many
splendoured ways to express it.
Eros (E’ros) is the Greek term for romantic love, the
hearts and flowers, Mills & Boon type of love to which most people aspire
at some point in their lives. This kind of emotion has little to do with common
sense and almost everything to do with chemistry and physical attraction. Sadly, by mistaking lust for genuine love, couples
may commit themselves when they have little else in common, only for the
relationship to end in rejection and tears.
Philia (phi-li’a) is the affection we have for our
friends, a close bond created through mutual trust and shared experience. True
friendship can never be gained through bribes or flattery; rather, the people
we choose to associate with should be honest with us, willing to listen and
ready to help in a crisis.
Storge (stor-ge’) describes the natural warmth and personal
attachment between family members - parents for children, children for brothers
and sisters and, of course, Mums and Dads for each other. To appreciate just
how vital this quality is, we need only consider the results when it’s lacking
– domestic violence, divorce, unwanted pregnancies, estrangement, lack of
interest in elderly parents and homelessness.
Agape (a-ga’pe) the highest form of love. Guided by
principle, this emotion transcends all others, as it can be displayed towards
people we don’t know and even towards our enemies. Professor William Barclay wrote in his New Testament Words “Agape has to do
with the mind: it is not simply an
emotion which rises unbidden in our hearts; it is a principle by which we
deliberately live. Agape has supremely to do with the will.” It’s this kind of
love which prevents us from kicking our worst enemy when they’re lying in the
gutter – on the contrary, impelling us to help them to their feet; the
compassion displayed by the Good Samaritan for a man he knew despised him; the
unconquerable love which, if manifest in everyone of us, would literally change
the world!
* 1955 song by Sammy Fain & Paul Francis Webster,
publicised by film of same name
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